this evening

it was near 90 at sunset.

i nag them all the time about it. i need to stop slouching too.

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it’s been too long

i didn’t take many photos on my portland trip with my real camera.. so instagram will suffice:

perhaps my favorite photo from my favorite day.

moments before the best meal.

my favorite camping trip, ever.

post-tattoo wine guzzling on the bluffs.

a great start to my second favorite day.

→ → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → →

since my return life has been far from sleepy, but these are a few of the quiet moments:

kombucha nightcapping while solo sunsetting

the other lake

burns park, party of one

i’ve found myself in a few too many diners lately..

and i’ve spent far too little time outside..

chelsea

we’re building up the reserves for a trip to Lake Michigan next month, we’ll be brewing our second batch this week in a few days. dad always taught us to be prepared.

willy wonka in the park last night

& yesterday’s rain

a solo morning walk

my birthday is a week from today. i’ll be spending it cooking for the people i love most — because it also happens to be Mother’s Day.. and right now i live with two very awesome mothers..

two weeks later i hope to properly celebrate by giving myself this gift, again:

lately


i’ve been daydreaming and nightdreaming about this beach


while walking on this beach


i’ve been oversleeping, constantly running 15 minutes late..


i’ve been drinking a lot of this


while doing lots of this


i showed my pops some good, local eats


and passed this building 10 too many times


i’ve been hanging out with this little bunny


and these big smelly bunnies


oh and i’ve colored more princesses than my feminist-leaning self can properly handle..

all photos via Instagram

you can follow me if you’re an instagrammer @catherinemarguerite — or if not, HERE.

>>panty party part II<<

With two more gentlemen added to this already eclectic group, I found myself nervously driving out to the coast on Friday night. How can you have a panty party with so much testosterone? Will they laugh during our seance and subsequent tarot card reading? Can I still pee with the door open? Does Brandon even know how to french-braid? We didn’t have an apron-only game of Apples to Apples, but we managed.

A few photos from our Lincoln City retreat a few weeks ago.

the morning after:

we were all on struggle street just a little bit.. but you would’ve been too if you had been there. we also all smelled like chlorine.

this is how Saturday evening started:

i should’ve known how it would end.


look at that KD pout.


making fraaaaands


praising the Karaoke gods


oh, Liberator


best dance partner


ever

and as we stumbled back to the cabin, we planned our attack on the neighbor’s hot tub…

hey guys, let’s go back. how does May sound?

daytime beach photos soon. polaroids are here.

///

i should be sleeping. but i just can’t help it.. Pacific Standard Time still has a hold of me.

did you see the moon tonight? she was so so bright.. and not even full yet. standing out in my backyard i could see branches, buds(!!! too soon?) and the tiny details of our treehouse. “look here” she says, “look, here.” such a powerful force, pulling us back to the smallest facets of our lives that matter most.

my birthday is in two months (what? really?), i’d like a tablet please.

some favorites.

it seems like i’m rarely on this side of the polaroid. i’m obviously a little rough around the edges after our last night at the beach, but thanks amber.

film troubles, but this one still came out as one of my favorites. (PROBABLY BECAUSE IT’S OF KATEY & JORIE):

intense winds ripped the backing off of two (2!) shots before i took this one:

i myself nearly fell off of the railing with a few gusts (what kind of idiot stands on a railing at Vista House on the most blustery day she’s ever seen?)..i think i would’ve broken a little more than my camera.

 

and this one was the ONE. serendipity, a happy accident. waterfall & log cabin.

pausing for portland

bumbling through my first real tragedy, i find i’m often unpredictably overcome by anger, grief, and exhaustion. communication fails, sleep is deprived, and the same endless cycles of thought occupy hours when i should be studying or sleeping; what really matters in this life? who is most important to me? why am i wasting time so far away from them? could i survive being bound to a bed and a chair for the rest of my life? what does he feel like? how can i help them? has my mother slept in the last 24 hours? has she eaten? has she cried? does he know how much i love him? where will we all be a year from now? 

this past week i was given a break, a pause.

yes, i checked-in with my sister and mom a bit, but in general… i checked out. there were definitely moments in the midst of chaotic laughter and drinks and dancing when i snapped back to my reality, but all things considered these amazing ladies kept me far far away..

oh and then there was the BEACH HOUSE… i’m fairly certain there is nothing as distracting (in the best possible way– except maybe a man.. and a cabin.. and a wood stove)

feeling blessed and grateful.. i leave you with this awful song because it’s been in my head since the second i boarded the plane leaving Portland… where can i find her blazer?

today was gorgeous. i even ventured outside for a few moments with bare feet. i walked in the grass until my toes were numb. if sunny and 45° can make me that joyful, i might bust come May. i know that most of us feel that way, but being raised in the midwest, i’ve grown to appreciate sunshine and mild weather more than most.

here are a few shots from my favorite place on earth: Watervale.

they were all taken one morning on a solo walk to the beach. 

only 5 short months and we get to do this again.

sometimes you need your past to pull you into your present.

i’m sure i mentioned this before, but my cousin Samantha (BFF, LYLAS4L, sista from anotha mista, etc..) came out to the northwest to help me pack up my life and move back home (ok ok, she basically had to draaggg me home).

we’ve both found ourselves in similar situations, call them quarter-life crises if you must, but we’re both experiencing a general loss of direction.

so we regroup. and hope it’s for the best.

in the heart of my heart i know we’ll be fine.

this one is only for you Samanth: