sometimes i forget how much grayness there is in relationships. blurred lines that flux like spring weather. one day a necessity, the next a fleeting thought. a year.. 6 months.. 8 weeks ago — it’s embarrassing how much my perspective has changed.
a man-friend helped me make this.. you see, i’m just too short for some things. i believe i pulled off the “me” all by myself.
as you might have gathered, i had the privilege of photographing a wedding that we hosted at the B&B a little over a week ago..
this family was beautiful & charming, every single member… so the photographing was made easy– we also had amazing weather for Michigan in early April.. no complaints here!
that said — being the control freak that i am, i drove myself nearly insane running up and down flights of stairs, checking to make sure the food that i’d prepped was coming out correctly — did they remember to add the herbs to the kids pizzas? did the spinach ever get de-stemmed? will they set up an ice bath to shock the haricot verts after they’ve been blanched??? because i will have an aneurysm if -god forbid- we serve army-green green beans..
the next wedding i’m involved in i will have little to do with the food – and for this i am grateful. just photos, and dancing, and DRINKING with my dear dear friends. i learned my lesson, folks.
[[correction: I suppose this isn’t entirely true as the VERY next few weddings I’ll be involved in I’ll actually be scrambling around with lighting equipment in hand, assisting a VERY talented professional duo.. but that’s for another post]]
i am SO close to the end of editing.. between wrapping up classes this week and some family stuff, I haven’t been able to devote the kind of time i had planned to this.. less than 50 photos remain though! i see the light…
i realize instagram photos are cop-outs (you don’t need to yell at me CRL).. but this week has been straight-up insane. and it’s only Thursday.. today is pretty packed – school and volunteering (cooking at a church, jesus christ).. and Saturday we’re hosting & catering a wedding, which I’m photographing.. after which I will race to downtown Detroit to meet my pops and sister for our FIRST TIGERS GAME..
life just chugs along, whether i like it or not. i’m glad i’ve decided to start participating, but i still feel the same about being “home”.
perhaps a vacation is in order.. May is just around the corner.
i’ve spent so much time this month wishing i could go back.
back to people, back to places.. back to conversations and decisive moments. sometimes i wish for change, sometimes i simply wish i could go back to watch the minutes unfold, re-experiencing them to gather a little more understanding.
what a waste of time. i am where i am. i did what i did. i’ve got what i’ve got. it is what it is.
my favorite spring flower won’t show it’s face around here until May. maybe it’s time to start looking forward..
after a long barefoot day in 75 degrees and sun, i didn’t think it could get much better. i measured (in Cat steps) & staked-out where our raised beds will go, cleaned out some window boxes for herbs, made list after revised list of seeds and starts to buy, read and sat in the sun until i could feel my skin tighten and re-filled my mother’s precious bird feeders (because “they’re probably starving!”).. that’s it, that’s all i did. no hospital, no school — it was near perfect.
as the sun started to set I found myself in an empty house. it was strange and lonely. in the summer, on warm nights like this, we all sit together on the front porch drinking wine while we watch the show. i grabbed my favorite Pendleton and a coffee cup filled with whatever was re-corked and sitting on the counter.
turn your volume up, spring is so amazing and loud. don’t miss the bats.
i wish you would’ve been there.
oh, and that shaky part at the end? a mosquito was attached to my palm.. and a few more were on my feet. MY FEET.
With two more gentlemen added to this already eclectic group, I found myself nervously driving out to the coast on Friday night. How can you have a panty party with so much testosterone? Will they laugh during our seance and subsequent tarot card reading? Can I still pee with the door open? Does Brandon even know how to french-braid? We didn’t have an apron-only game of Apples to Apples, but we managed.
A few photos from our Lincoln City retreat a few weeks ago.
the morning after:
we were all on struggle street just a little bit.. but you would’ve been too if you had been there. we also all smelled like chlorine.
this is how Saturday evening started:
i should’ve known how it would end.
look at that KD pout.
praising the Karaoke gods
best dance partner
and as we stumbled back to the cabin, we planned our attack on the neighbor’s hot tub…