it’s been too long

i didn’t take many photos on my portland trip with my real camera.. so instagram will suffice:

perhaps my favorite photo from my favorite day.

moments before the best meal.

my favorite camping trip, ever.

post-tattoo wine guzzling on the bluffs.

a great start to my second favorite day.

→ → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → →

since my return life has been far from sleepy, but these are a few of the quiet moments:

kombucha nightcapping while solo sunsetting

the other lake

burns park, party of one

i’ve found myself in a few too many diners lately..

and i’ve spent far too little time outside..

chelsea

we’re building up the reserves for a trip to Lake Michigan next month, we’ll be brewing our second batch this week in a few days. dad always taught us to be prepared.

willy wonka in the park last night

& yesterday’s rain

a break

if i can pull this off every three months, i’ll be in good shape.

see you soon, pacific.

this guy

can’t wait to hug this fella in about a week.

oh ummmm

and this is going to happen, again… soon.
i can feel it in my bones.

what a bunch of dorky kids.

summer eves

sometimes there just aren’t enough hours. impatiently waiting for the long days of summer..

 

 

[remember when i lived within a few minutes of sauvie island, where blackberry bushes grow like dandelion? and where we’d sneak into peach orchards after-hours and steal not-quite-ripe fruit?]

…

missin these ladies & that place somethin’ fierce tonight.

a favorite place, a really good day

 

>>panty party part II<<

With two more gentlemen added to this already eclectic group, I found myself nervously driving out to the coast on Friday night. How can you have a panty party with so much testosterone? Will they laugh during our seance and subsequent tarot card reading? Can I still pee with the door open? Does Brandon even know how to french-braid? We didn’t have an apron-only game of Apples to Apples, but we managed.

A few photos from our Lincoln City retreat a few weeks ago.

the morning after:

we were all on struggle street just a little bit.. but you would’ve been too if you had been there. we also all smelled like chlorine.

this is how Saturday evening started:

i should’ve known how it would end.

look at that KD pout.

making fraaaaands

praising the Karaoke gods

oh, Liberator

best dance partner

ever

and as we stumbled back to the cabin, we planned our attack on the neighbor’s hot tub…

hey guys, let’s go back. how does May sound?

daytime beach photos soon. polaroids are here.

some favorites.

it seems like i’m rarely on this side of the polaroid. i’m obviously a little rough around the edges after our last night at the beach, but thanks amber.

film troubles, but this one still came out as one of my favorites. (PROBABLY BECAUSE IT’S OF KATEY & JORIE):

intense winds ripped the backing off of two (2!) shots before i took this one:

i myself nearly fell off of the railing with a few gusts (what kind of idiot stands on a railing at Vista House on the most blustery day she’s ever seen?)..i think i would’ve broken a little more than my camera.

 

and this one was the ONE. serendipity, a happy accident. waterfall & log cabin.

pausing for portland

bumbling through my first real tragedy, i find i’m often unpredictably overcome by anger, grief, and exhaustion. communication fails, sleep is deprived, and the same endless cycles of thought occupy hours when i should be studying or sleeping; what really matters in this life? who is most important to me? why am i wasting time so far away from them? could i survive being bound to a bed and a chair for the rest of my life? what does he feel like? how can i help them? has my mother slept in the last 24 hours? has she eaten? has she cried? does he know how much i love him? where will we all be a year from now? 

this past week i was given a break, a pause.

yes, i checked-in with my sister and mom a bit, but in general… i checked out. there were definitely moments in the midst of chaotic laughter and drinks and dancing when i snapped back to my reality, but all things considered these amazing ladies kept me far far away..

oh and then there was the BEACH HOUSE… i’m fairly certain there is nothing as distracting (in the best possible way– except maybe a man.. and a cabin.. and a wood stove)

feeling blessed and grateful.. i leave you with this awful song because it’s been in my head since the second i boarded the plane leaving Portland… where can i find her blazer?

sometimes you need your past to pull you into your present.

i’m sure i mentioned this before, but my cousin Samantha (BFF, LYLAS4L, sista from anotha mista, etc..) came out to the northwest to help me pack up my life and move back home (ok ok, she basically had to draaggg me home).

we’ve both found ourselves in similar situations, call them quarter-life crises if you must, but we’re both experiencing a general loss of direction.

so we regroup. and hope it’s for the best.

in the heart of my heart i know we’ll be fine.

this one is only for you Samanth:

samanthaheadswest

a few weeks ago, my favorite cousin came out west from NYC to help me pack up and move back to Michigan. her help was invaluable.. so in an attempt to repay her (and to retain my last bits of sanity), we headed out to the coast. the sun through the mossy trees (did somebody say Fern Gully?) demanded that we stop at a pull off near the summit of the coast range..

her jaw dropped.

she saw the maaaagiiiicc. one more PNW convert.

we both swore that we would come back some day and build neighboring cottages on the banks of this river.